Walls close in around me
at every turn I take.
There is nowhere to run to
to take refuge
from the ache of the heart,
from the memories
which threaten to open floodgates.
from the deep regret lodged in the throat,

Walls I will build around myself.
As strong as a fortress
as sturdy as bricks.
indestructable, impenetrable, unfallible.

There will be laughter
But tears accompany it.
Both are cathartic.
But, the echoes of laughter around the fortress,
will surely be preferred to the echoes
of painful moaning.

Let there always be laughter
in these walls.
Laughter that fills the air with joy
that never really reaches the heart.
that disappears among sorrow.
laughter that fills the air with joy
but somehow never reaches the eyes.
that dissolves into tears and
disintegrates into deep misery.
Resounding laughter that tickles and tingles,
forever betraying the bubbling
cauldron of hot, stinging tears.