Was talking to birdie baby about marriage v cohabitating. I'm all for cohabitating and against marriage. Well, I'm against marriage, but I'm not anti-marriage. er. sorry.am I making you confused?

It is prolly not a case of phobia of commitment, but rather the fear that my decision to marry was wrong and that I won't be able to tolerate living with the person for the rest of my life. I'm an impulsive person by nature. I take risk very willingly at the heat of the moment which sometimes pay off, and sometimes land me in boiling soup. People always say that you need to put in alot of effort to make a marriage work. Maintaining a relationship is hard enough. What more marriage. There is always a fear within me, of the other party waking up one day and realising that he doesn't love me anymore, or as much as he used to. Or vice versa. Its a scary thought. While hanging out with the Bishan clique ytd, Alvin said perhaps what I felt now wasn't love, but sympathy, empathy and pity(which all basically means the same thing.) That made me doubt myself for the longest period of time(1 night.haha ) I guess only time would tell. Time uncovers secrets, Time irons things out. I only hope Time is on our side. Banana wasn't very positive either.(as if he ever was positive in the first place) Sorry, I digressed.

Back to marrige v cohabitating.

Cohabitating is good. At least you get to find out the other party's living habits, and eventually decide for yourself if you want to marry and start a family with this person. its non-commital as well. i mean. there must be some sort of contract to keep the house clean and livable as well as a contract drawn up to prevent him from running away quietly with half your assets. Plus, another contract that holds him responsible if he ever gets you pregnant. er...now, that seems alot of work. But i can already imagine how much more worse it would be to marry. The contract/oath would not only be legally binding but emotionally scarring and financially draining as well. Same for cohabitating, but a marriage breakdown will be a milllion, zillion times worse because, firstly, it is recognised by law, secondly, it just shows ur inability to live, communicate, and breathe the same air as the other person. in short. your life is half ruined if your marriage fails.If while cohabitating, you find you can't stand the other party's living habits, or you quarel everday about minute stuff like how he always doesn't screw the cap on the toothpaste, the most both parties do------BREAK UP. well, a break up definitely sounds nicer than a DIVORCE.

My opinions might change in time to come as I'm still young. But for now, marriage irks me. I envy my parents' marriage very much. I only hope that mine would be as wonderful as theirs. God bless me.