infidelity

would you give your boyfriend another chance if you knoew he cheated on you?

Would you give your husband another chance if u found out he had an affair?

i once had this conversation with someone about whether two people should still stay married if one of them commited adultery. She said. its not so much about the party commiting adultery. its more of whether the two people can still stay together knowing that this has happened. you may be surprised that most of the time, when this happens, people still stay married. not because of the kids, but because of the wife's magnanimousity.(i'm assuming that men would mostly be the ones having affairs.)

in retrospect, deep down in the reccesses of my heart, I do agree with what was said. whether two people can stay together after one party has had an affair, depends very much on the willingness of the other party to forgive and tolerate. My rational side tells me that this theory is crazy. how can any woman stand sharing her man. i would feel repulsed if i were to continue living with a man who had cheated on me with another woman. But i surprised myself yet again, when my heart tells me 'its okie. give him another chance. you can help him change.' that's probably what battered women, and women who have cheating husbands say to themselves. heck. they might even say it to themselves every morning when they get out of bed and when they sleep at night.

The rational side of me tells me that a woman might be crazy if she is willing to torture herself with thoughts of whether her man would pull another fast one on her. But the heart tells me 'you can try and trust him again. its all up to you now. you must be strong. he's a man after all and men are known not to keep their hands to themselves.'

I'm so disappointed with myself for swaying more towards the heart.

if only you would just apologize. I would consider taking you back again.

its just a thought. I really don't know if i have the courage to torture myself with trust issues if he really does ask.